I consider myself to be a pretty healthy guy. I've never had any serious illnesses except for raging gastrointestinal issues EVERY time I leave the country. I don't consider those issues to be a reflection of my overall bodily health. I instead chalk them up to my stupidity:
Street vendor in Russia: "Come, eat land-animal sushi!"
Me: "What?"
Vendor: "Da. Street dog. Never touch frying pan."
Me: "Sold! I'll take two."
I've always been active, either playing sports regularly or working out. I get sick maybe once a year. Got a pretty sweet immune system. When I got the chicken pox as a little kid, guess how many of the itchy red spots I got. TWO! My body conceded those two little red dots just to be nice, to allow the virus to save a little face. In fact, I think I've only been inconvenienced by two illnesses in my whole life, one minor and one major.
The minor inconvenience was the provided by a cold that I think the government slipped into my system as an experiment in biological super-weapons. It showed up a couple of hours before an appointment I had with a guy who was interviewing agents for the job of selling his house. It started off as the worst sore throat I've ever had, which for some reason made my mouth salivate like a faucet that someone forgot to turn off. It also made my brain feel like those frying eggs in the old "This is your brain on drugs" commercials. Needless to say, the listing appointment did not go well. I don't remember any of the questions that the guy asked. None of my answers, either. I do remember actually drooling on his table and apologizing while trying to explain my salivary predicament. I didn't get the listing.
The major inconvenience showed up when I was a sophomore in high school in the form of insomnia. No one really knows why this happened. But for three weeks, sleep avoided me, much in the same way that dignity avoids Lady Gaga. During the day I was a zombie, trying not to fall asleep in order preserve some semblance of a sleeping pattern in case I did fall asleep at night. But as soon as I would get in bed, I couldn't even lay still. Once every few nights I would drift off for maybe an hour only to be roused awake by......absolutely nothing. It was terrible. I kept going to school all this time, staring blankly, forgetting to keep talking while I was mid-sentence, and flunking algebra tests (That's right. I had to take algebra tests. All my teachers knew of my condition and took it easy on me. Except for my algebra II teacher. I think I wrote my name when solving for x at least three times). The first time I went to the doctor, he gave me Benadryl. Apparently he didn't notice that this insomnia was actually a physical entity that could punch a person in the face and spit on them as they lay bleeding. It wasn't until a week later that he gave me some pills that came with these instructions: "Take one. Only one. If you take two you will fall into a coma." I actually had to fight the desire to take two. Gladly, one pill did the trick.
Real estate note: If you are on the fence about selling your home, please read this:
http://kcmblog.com/2011/09/06/5-great-reasons-t-sell-your-house-today-2/
Chris
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